Friday, May 8, 2009
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die
of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a
weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta its rear end.'
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going
to look up there anyway?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Have a Great Weekend!