Thursday, April 30, 2009

Animals You May Not Have Seen Before....Part Four

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This is all of them - hoped you enjoyed them!
Have a Great Day!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Animals You May Not Have Seen.....Part Two

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Don't forget - these guys need names.... Click on the image to enlarge
Have a Great Day!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Monday, April 27, 2009

Animals You May Not Have Seen.....Part One



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Click on the image to enlarge - Please feel free to help me name them - I'll share some more tomorrow
Have a Great Day
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Why Credit Card Companies Are In Trouble....


Subject: Cancel your Credit cards:
Now some people are really stupid!!!!
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.
This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.
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A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange :
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.' Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given ) After they get the fax :
Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank: 'That might help...'
Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???' (Priceless!!)
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You wondered why Citi is going broke and need the feds to bail them out!!
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Have a Great Day!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

DandyLions....Too Much Information.....

I've always considered dandelions as just weeds that are really hard to get rid of, but because I like taking close-up photos of....well....... EVERYTHING - I decided to take a couple pics of the new weeds that had just sprung up. I was a little taken aback when I downloaded and opened these photos - so I went back out and took one more wifer photo so that you could see them in context. The first pic is the larger one - just showing a weed in the yard - enjoy:

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A LITTLE CLOSER




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CLOSER.....





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Closer Still....




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That Should Do It!

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Well, what do you think? Ever seen Dandelions like that before? I now have a new found respect for them - actually I'm a little afraid of them - I don't go near them any more.....hope I'm not developing Botanophobia....

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Have a Great Day!

Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Ole and Lena....

Ole and Lena, a truly devoted couple----
Ole, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew, and, soon people from all over the country were coming to him in Minnesota for paintings and formal portraits. One day while Ole was mowing the lawn, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a stretch limo. She asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request.. The beautiful lady said money was no object; she was willing to pay him $50,000. Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife Lena, Ole asked the lady to wait while he went in the house and conferred with, his missus. In a few minutes he returned and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. I'll paint ya in da nude , but I'll haff ta leave my socks on so I'll have a place to wipe my brushes."
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Have a Great Day!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Signs of Spring - New Maple Leaves, Buds... and BUGS....

BUGS.... Ewwwww!
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I had hoped that the last joke in my previous post might "clean-up" for the other ones, but I'm thinkin' maybe not so much...

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head And a beer gut, and still think they are sexy." :-}

Time to fire up the backhoe! :-}

Enjoy your week -

Seeya,

OregonartGuy

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Diggin' a REALLY DEEP Hole...

Okay..... it's time to start diggin' a deeper hole for myself....:-}

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

Women will never be equal to men Until they can walk down the street with a bald head And a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. :-}

- I don't know what happened!! Someone hacked my blog and posted this!!! And now I can't get rid of it!!!

Sorry for the mix-up!

Have a Great Day

Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

The Doctor Will See You Now....


A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer. :-}
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Have a Great Tax Day
Seeya
OregonArtGuy!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

WAR ZONE....


This looks like fun.
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Can you imagine some guy going 90 mph on the interstate with these balloons trailing a few yards behind him?
Instructions for a fun time on the interstate...............
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Step 1. Tie balloons to car.
Step 2. Drive like you're trying to outrun a guided missle....
Step 3. Watch people freak out!!!!
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Now THAT'S FUNNY! :-}

Have a Great Day!

Seeya,

OregonArtGuy


Friday, April 10, 2009

New Error Mesages Planned For Windows 7


The following are new Error Messages planned for Windows 7:
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1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

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2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
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3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
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4) Press any key… no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
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5) Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
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6) Close your eyes and press escape three times.
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7) Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
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8) This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
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9) Windows message: “You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your brain?”
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10) This is a message from God: “Rebooting the universe, please log off.”
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11) Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
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12) BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.
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13) COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup and press any key.
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14) CONGRESS.SYS corrupted… Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)
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15) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
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16) Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
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17) Runtime Error 6D at 417 A:32CF: Incompetent User.
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18) Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
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19) WinErr 547: LPT1 not found… Use backup… PENCIL & PAPER.
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20) User Error: Replace user.
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21) Windows VirusScan 1.0 - “OS/2 found: Remove it? (Y/Y)”
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22) Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic.
Evidence Nuker Software will permanently delete everything you want erased. :-}
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Have a Great Weekend!
Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Fuzzy Plant Thingies In The Rocks

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Have a Great Day!

Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Diggin' a Hole.....

Well..... I figured that since I was about finished fillin' in the one hole, it was about time I started diggin' another one......enjoy :-}

New Law:

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a 'Women Only' parking lot at the Mall of America.. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.

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Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota .

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Have a Great Day!

Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

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Monday, April 6, 2009

Back By Popular Demand - More Space Photos!....

A few more beautiful NASA Hubble Telescope photos for today. I used to print these poster size for teachers to use in their classrooms, and for parents who had kids interested in astronomy - they are awesome in large poster size prints!
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The Cygnus Loop Supernova Remnant
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The Antennae Galaxies
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No Description
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Trifid Nebula
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Eskimo Nebula
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Have a Great Day
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy