Friday, March 27, 2009

Don't Mess With Old Ladies

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too! :-}
Have ae Great Day


Carol Dean said...

woohoo indeed! I need a good laugh, Bill :D

OregonArtGuy said...

Carol Dean: Good to see you Carol - Glad you got a chuckle - I thought it was pretty funny! :-]

Artist Unplugged said...

Good one! Thanks for the comic relief this morning!

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

I am off to get taxes figured so I HAD to come and get my daily laughs in before going. And you came thru. :)))

OregonArtGuy said...

Unplugged: Glad I could be of service :-}

OregonArtGuy said...

Cris: We were doing really good, right up to the point that you mentioned taxes - now I need some comic relief! Just kiddin' - sort of :-}

Samantha and Mr. Tigger said...

Hahahahahahhahaha!!! That was a great one!! We came to you from the new game on SlogBite!! It's a great way to check out all the Blogs!!
Your FL furiends,

Kelly said...

I must say, women not only remain calmer than men in situations like that, but also have the quick wit needed to turn the tables for their own benefit. Here's a good one for you:

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'For reading a book,' she replies,
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

OregonArtGuy said...

Samantha: Glad you liked it, and thanks for stopping by! :-}

OregonArtGuy said...

Kelly: Thanks for the funny - good to see you! :-}

Babs (Beetle) said...

Hahaha so funny :O)

OregonArtGuy said...

Babs: Hi! - Thanks for stopping by. I think this could just as easily be an 'OLD GUY' scenario as well - it works for me! :-}

Jenn said...

That's pretty funny!

OregonArtGuy said...

Thanks Jenn! I thought so... ;-)