Monday, February 16, 2009

If Microsoft Built Cars....

This has been around for awhile, but it's still funny and it's still true - enjoy:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

- For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

- Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

- Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.

- The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

- New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

- The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

- Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

- GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

- Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

- You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine." :-}



The Crow said...

How appropriate! My blasted computer has crashed twice this morning, and probably will again before I can finish thi

Footsteps said...

I switched to an iMac last year and am just counting the days 'til I can switch out my kids' computer and the laptop for Macs. I spent as much time fixing as working on my PCs of the past. I'm a happily converted Mac-Girl now.

OregonArtGuy said...

Crow: Thanks for your comment - like I said "it's still true" :-}

OregonArtGuy said...

Footsteps: I've never used a Mac - I really hate change. I've only had one "real" crash ever - so I guess I'll stick with what I know. That's the thing with getting loder, change gets more and more diffucult :-} Thanks for stopping by,

Max said...

LOL LOL LOL LOL that is an accurate breakdown of possible malfunctions of a MS car LOL LOL *nodding*!

Well, at least the IE8 is better now!


OregonArtGuy said...

Hi Max: I thought so too!! Is IE8 better? I don't have it - I'm always afraid of change.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Oh yeah.. my car would freeze and not move. I would have to abandon it till it unfroze and come back later to drive on. LOL

OregonArtGuy said...

Hi Cris: Glad to see you - I actually posted this with you in mind - a dedication of sorts :-}

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Thanks I needed the laugh, and I almost missed it because of my computer 'snoozing' on me. LOL

OregonArtGuy said...

Hi Cris: Then it appears as though the post was apropos :-}

Artist Unplugged said...

Can you imagine your car ran by Vista??? Yikes!

OregonArtGuy said...

Unplugged - no reason to take it to the shop - just have it towed to the junkyard :-} Thanks for stopping by :-}