Thursday, February 19, 2009

How the Fight Started..... :-}


How the fight started - enjoy :-}

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the giftI bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.......

My wife walked into the den and asked "What's on the TV?" I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And that's how the fight started.....

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. Shes aid, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds. 'I bought her a bathroom scale.And that's how the fight started.....

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'And that's when the fight started.....

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplaceexpensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started.....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beerwould make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.''My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's when the fight started.....

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and! little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, look ed up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT

HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And that's when the fight started.....

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?''Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....

Now you know how fights get started - maybe you have a few of your own? Have a "Fightless Friday" tomorrow :-}
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

12 comments:

Artist Unplugged said...

Thanks for the chuckles, I've read some of these before, pretty funny! Thanks for sharing.......hmmmm.....wonder what starts Martian fights....I will investigate!

OregonArtGuy said...

Unplugged: Thanks for the comment Teresa - let me know what you find out :-}

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

LOL.. these are great. I am still chuckling. :))

OregonArtGuy said...

Hi Cris: Glad you liked them :-}
Bill

Laura said...

Those are great :)

OregonArtGuy said...

Thanks Laura: Ihope you REALLY thnks so....:-}
Bill

Kathleen said...

;-) good ones!
Thanks for stopping by to visit.
Kathleen

OregonArtGuy said...

Hi Kathleen: Thanks for your comment and for stopping by :-}
Bill

Bhing said...

Very funny! I guess I have to list mine too.. lol

OregonArtGuy said...

Bhing: Thank you for stopping by and your comment - I was thinking that I had a few I could add as well :-}

treasures 306 said...

Great blog Bill, I enjoyed my visit there.You have a great sense of humor.

OregonArtGuy said...

Treasures - Thank you very much :-)
~Bill~