Sunday, February 1, 2009

Baby Boomer Barbie - New Updated Line to Keep up with Aging Gracefully :-}

Here is a list of the "Top Ten" new Barbies that are sure to be a hit with us Boomers - Even if you're not in that group, I'm sure you'll like these :-}

Number 10: Bifocals Barbie - Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

Number 9: Hot Flash Barbie - Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

Number 8: Facial Hair Barbie - As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

Number 7: Flabby Arms Barbie - Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front,too -muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.

Number 6: Bunion Barbie - Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

Number 5: No More Wrinkles Barbie - Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

Number 4: Soccer Mom Barbie - All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

Number 3: Mid-life Crisis Barbie - It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

Number 2: Divorced Barbie - Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

And the Number 1 New Baby Boomer Barbie is:...
Post-Menopausal Barbie - This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included. :-}

Seeya :-}

OregonArtGuy

14 comments:

Laura said...

I own #7, #5, #2(but mine did not come with the extra accessories) and #1

OregonArtGuy said...

Laura:
You kill me! Thanks for the comment.
My wife was watching as I posted this, and since she's a bit older than you, could relate to a few more - but not #2 - we've been married 38 years. But if we DID get divorced - there ARE no accessories :-}
Have a great day!

Cindy Lietz, Polymer Clay Tutor said...

OMG I was hoping to see the Cosmetic Surgery Barbie with the little dial under her hair that pulls her skin tight over the face! This would be of course the predecessor of Breast Reduction Barbie who has been have back issues over the years because of her unnaturally top heavy body!!

OregonArtGuy said...

Hey Cindy: LOL - thanks for the new additions, I'll use them in the future :-}
If you come up with anymore, let me know :-}

Myfanwy said...

You missed the hair. Baby Boomer Barbie would have dyed Menopausal Brown hair. You see them everywhere..... Not quite brown, not quite red, but it's all out of the same bottle.

OregonArtGuy said...

Myfanwy: too funny - thank you for the added insight - my wife didn't catch the omission because she has been nearly totally grey since around 30 and keeps it that way :-}

Lisa said...

Bwahahaha! Those are so funny!!

OregonArtGuy said...

Hi Lisa: Thanks for stopping by and your comment - if you didn't get a chance to read the other comments, I highly recommend it - there are several additional Barbie suggestions from our readers that are really good!
Seeya,
Bill

Winnie WInster said...

HILARIOUS! Thanks for posting :)

The comments are also a fun read!

The Eclectic said...

Oh my gosh - Barbie's getting real! I can't stand it - shoot me please! and be sure to blame it on Barbie. :-)

OregonArtGuy said...

Hi Gary! Sorry, you're going to have to live thru it like the rest of us... ;-)
~Bill~

OregonArtGuy said...

Thanks Winnie! Sorry for the late response...

CrystalRaven said...

I love it! Heehee! I come from the generation of kids who used to mutilate barbies and this just tickled me! haha! I think you're very funny!

OregonArtGuy said...

Thanks Crystal!! Glad you liked it!! :-)