These aren't new, but worth a look. Hope you enjoy :-}
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...
Your standard of living improves when you go camping.
Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.
You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.
You have a relative living in your garage.
Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.
There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.
You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.
None of the tires on your van are the same size.
You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it.
Your idea of getting lucky is passing the emissions test.
Your town put the new garbage truck in the New Year's parade.
Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.
Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.
You've slow danced in the Waffle House.
Starting your car involves popping the hood.
Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.
You actually wear shoes your dog brought home.
You've been in a fist fight at a yard sale.
You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach thekids in the backseat.
You think people who have cell phones and e-mail are uppity.
-and my alltime favorite:
If your house has wheels and yer car don't... well you know...:-}