Thursday, May 28, 2009

Home Depot Parking Lot Flowers.......

Yep - Home Depot parking lot planter - shoot 'em where you find 'em :-}

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Sorry, the pics aren't very good, it was real windy - hard to get a good shot....

Have a Great Day
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

You Might Be A Redneck if....101-120....


REDNECK LIMO

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF:.....

101.People are scared to touch your wife's bathrobe.


102.Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

103.You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

104.You've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.

105.You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

106.You've ever been too drunk to fish.

107.You've ever bought a used cap.

108.You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

109.You've ever used a weedeater indoors.

110.Your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

111.You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).

112.You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'

113.You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

114.Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
115.In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

116.Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

117.You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.

118.You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.

119.Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

120.Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle

Have A Great Day!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

You Might Be A Redneck if....51-70....


REDNECK YACHT


YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF:....


51.There is a gun rack on your bicycle.


52.Your wedding was held in the delivery room.


53.Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

54.Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.



55.Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."


56.The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.



57.Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.



58.You pick your teeth from a catalog.


59.You've ever financed a tattoo.


60.You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."


61.Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.



62.Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.


63.You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.



64.You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.



65.The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.



66.You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.



67.The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.



68.Your brother-in-law is your uncle.



69.You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

70.You go to the family reunion to pick up women. :-}

Have A Great Day!

Seeya,

OregonAryGuy



Monday, May 25, 2009

You Might Be A Redneck if....31-50....


REDNECK HARLEY

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.......

31.You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

32.The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.

33.Your car has never had a full tank of gas.

34.Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.

35.Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.

36.You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

37.You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

38.Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

39.Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

40.You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.


42.Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

43.You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.
44.You're an expert on worm beds.


45.The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

46.Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

47.Your family tree does not fork.

48.The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.

49.You haul more than U-Haul.

50.Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

51.There is a gun rack on your bicycle.

Have a Great Week!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Friday, May 22, 2009

You Might Be a Redneck if.........21-30

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REDNECK POWERBALL WINNER

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YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
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21.You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
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22.There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.

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23.Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
.

24.There is a wasp nest in your living room.
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25.The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

.
26.You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

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27.There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.

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28.You burn your front yard rather than mow it.

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29.You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
.

30.Fewer than half of your cars run.
.
Have a Great Day!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Thursday, May 21, 2009

You Might Be a Redneck if.........11-20

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REDNECK HORSESHOES


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YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF:
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11. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.

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12. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

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13. You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

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14. Birds are attracted to your beard.

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15. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.

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16. You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.

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17. You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

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18. You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.

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19. Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".

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20. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

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That's all for today! More tomorrow :-}
Have a Great Day!
Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

You Might Be a Redneck if.........1-10

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REDNECK SEAFOOD DINNER

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YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF:
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1. You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

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2. You ever cut your grass and found a car.

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3. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.

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4. You think the stock market has a fence around it.

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5. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.

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6. Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.

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7. You own a homemade fur coat.

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8. Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.

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9. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

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10. Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath" :-}

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So many of these hit so close to home :-}
Hope you enjoy them - there's more.....
Have a Great Day
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Monday, May 18, 2009

Gas Station Flowers....

You know you need to get out more when the gas station is where you go to take your flower pics! :-} Oh well - they were there - I had a camera...... hope you enjoy them:

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Original Colors



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Have a Great Week!

Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Why Our Grandparents Were Happier.....

Bayer’s Heroin

A bottle of Bayer's heroin. Between 1890 and 1910 heroin was sold as a non-addictive substitute for morphine. It was also used to treat children with strong cough.



Coca Wine

Metcalf Coca Wine was one of a huge variety of wines with cocaine on the market. Everybody used to say that it would make you happy and it would also work as a medicinal treatment.

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Mariani wine

Mariani wine (1875) was the most famous Coca wine of it's time. Pope Leo XIII used to carry one bottle with him all the time. He awarded Angelo Mariani (the producer) with aVatican gold medal


Maltine

Produced by Maltine Manufacturing Company of New York . It was suggested that you should take a full glass with or after every meal. Children should take half a glass.


A paper weight:

A paper weight promoting C..F. Boehringer & Soehne ( Mannheim , Germany ). They were proud of being the biggest producers in the world of products containing Quinine and Cocaine.


Opium for Asthma:

No comments.


Cocaine tablets (1900)

All stage actors, singers teachers and preachers had to have them for a maximum performance. Great to "smooth" the voice.


Cocaine drops for toothache

Very popular for children in 1885. Not only did they relieve the pain, they made the children happy!

.

Opium for new-borns

I'm sure this would make them sleep well (not only the Opium, but 46% alcohol!!!!!)

Five Drops of opium for a 5 day old baby! No 3AM feeding for this mommy! Why this kind of thing didn't wipe out (pardon the phrasing) an entire generation - I have no idea! Pretty amazing stuff - hope you enjoyed it - your grandparents did! :-}

Have a Great Day!

Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Signs Of Menopause and Getting Older.....




SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :
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1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
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2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
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3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
.

OLD IS WHEN:
.
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have
to go along.
.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
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4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
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5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee! :-}

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Have a Great Day!
Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

Monday, May 11, 2009

Games For When We Are Older....


1. Sag, you're It.
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2. Hide and go pee.
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3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
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4. Kick the bucket
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5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
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6. Musical recliners.
.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy :-}
.

Have a Great Day

Seeya,

OregonArtGuy

Friday, May 8, 2009

Things You Need To Know....


I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die
of natural causes.
.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a
weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?
.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?
.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
.
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta its rear end.'
.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
.
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going
to look up there anyway?
.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

.
Have a Great Weekend!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Thursday, May 7, 2009

DandyLions Re-Revisited.....Just 2 More Pics.... I Promise...

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I just had a couple more I thought were worth a look - I hope you think so too!
Have a Great Day!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

DandyLions Re-Revisited.....

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You KNOW I had to do this!!
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Have a Great Day!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

DandyLions Revisited.....and a Surprise!

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You may remember a post a week or so ago that showed the following dandelions:

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Well, these blooms have now turned into what you see below, so I thought I'd get a couple shots to share. I generally like shooting close-ups, so that's what I did - PLEASE click on the image to view the larger one - I'm quite certain that you've never seen a dandelion from this perspective before! - at least I hadn't:
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As I was shooting, I got an unexpected surprise - a baby grasshopper that was no longer than 1/4" long landed on the blossom - I had just enough time to focus and shoot one shot - but I got him!! Take a look - PLEASE enlarge the photos, and keep in mind that this guy is REALLY LITTLE - like the size of a pencil eraser head - I could barely see him:

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I'm sure glad that I never get tired of taking photos - I'm sure that you won't be as excited about these as I am - but you're not supposed to be - I'm the one who took them! Hope you enjoy them....
Have a Great Day
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy
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Oh, and BTW, yesterday's blossoms are from a REDBUD Tree...




Monday, May 4, 2009

Flowering Tree Blossoms....

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I don't know what kind of tree this is - they are all over town - but the blossoms are really beautiful. But between the wind and the bees (who seemed to like me as much as the flowers), it was difficult to get any decent shots. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these:
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Have a Great Monday!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy

Friday, May 1, 2009

Why Men Should NEVER Shop For Their Wives.....

A young man from Wisconsin moved to Florida and applied for a job at a huge everything-under-one-roof department store.
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During the brief interview the store manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man replied, "Yeah, I was a salesman back in Wisconsin. I worked at a car dealership, a general department store and I also sold real estate."
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The manager took a liking to the young man and gave him a job saying, "You can start tomorrow. Be here by 9:00 in the morning and ask to speak with Tom Barnes. He is the assistant store manager and he will show you what you need to do. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." With that they shook hands and parted ways.
.
After the store closed and the doors were locked up , the boss went to see how the young man's first day had gone. After looking all over the store, the manager finally found the young man sitting on a box in the stockroom, hunched over and looking exhausted.
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"How was your first day, son?" he asked.
.
"It was difficult learning about all the departments and products you sell here sir," The young man replied.
.
Then the manager asked, "How many sales did you make today, son?"
.
The young man replied, "Only one."
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The manager then asked, "Well, how many customers did you talk to?"
.
Once again, he replied, "Only one."
.
The manager responded, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day! How much was the sale for?"
.
"$101,237.65," he replied.
.
"$101,237.65!" exclaimed the manager. "What the heck did you sell?"
.
The young man responded, "First, I sold the man a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I so ld him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod, reel and a whole tackle box full of lures and stuff. Then, I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I explained to him that if he was going to the coast, he was going to need a boat. We went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine fishing boat. After that, he said he didn't think his Honda Civic could pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him a 4x4 Expedition."
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The store manager, with a look of astonishment on his face proclaimed, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook, and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"
.
"No sir!" The young man said. "He came in to buy tampons for his wife. While I was showing him where the tampons were, I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing."
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The moral of the story.....Well - you get the idea.... :-}

Have a Great Weekend!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy