Most have been around awhile, but still funny - Some maybe not so funny - but ironic at this point:
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1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
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2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
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3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
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4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
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5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
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6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
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7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
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8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
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9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
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10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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EVER WONDER:
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Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
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Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
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Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
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Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
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Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
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Why is it that to stop Windows , you have to click on "Start"?
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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
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When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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Hope you enjoyed these :-}
Have a Great Day!
Seeya,
OregonArtGuy
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